Tenyo

First of all I'll tell you that despite being a huuuge fan of windwaker and its art myself, I'll look at this piece without bias. I really like your style ...

First thing; bulk. Unless the formatting has gone horribly wrong, this looks like three huge chunks of writing, which is quite intimidating. It also seems more like a story that ...

Hey there. You've got some good description in this, and you've created quite a strong image by holding nothing back. The whole thing is a little short, and even though ...

Hey there. I do like the idea behind the rhyme scheme, but it does seem a bit overwhelming at times. Some of them seem a little forced, and the rhythm ...

This doesn't make much sense... Here she lies night by night , Trying to continue with a knife in her back. < Continue... What? The truth and her conscience always ...

Is this the beginning? If this is the beginning it has a lot of potential. "The small boy held tightly onto his mothers side, clammy hands gripping the cotton poly ...

I kinda like it. I admit it needs work, but I do like the overall theme and idea. I do agree with crocks though, that first stanza needs to be ...

I really like your description, especially these lines; "...your words simultaneously Strip me of any confidence I have And ease my tumultuous thoughts." There's something kind of entrancing about you