Tenyo

Yey, sequals! You have a very twisted mind my friend. Genius, but none the less twisted. Keep going though :D I look forward to reading the next ones once I've ...

I don't really know what to say, this whole piece is beautiful from beginning to end. Even the title is brilliant. You've brought the main character alive really well, especially ...

I'm not sure what you tried to do with the opening description of Johannas, but it's confusing, and by the sound of it you're comparing his hair to his future? ...

Haha! I love it! The voice of the protragonist is very strong, and quite brilliant. Personally I have a short attention span and an annoying inner editor, so I rarely ...

I don't really get many of these, sorry, whether I look at them as a whole, clusters or on their own. Haiku is a really hard art to get the ...

In the starting description you've used 'Dark' three times. Any repitition in such a short space should be avoided. Also, things like 'dark purple' and 'fiery orange,' placed so close ...

First paragraph needs organising. The perspective is a bit all over the place. You've gone from the sea of green, to the tiny blades, to the big thing that covers ...

In the opening, the last two lines start with the word 'but.' I really like the scene, it's got me quite intrigued. As an opening before the titles I'm not ...

Amazing! I love it. There's a lot of emoism in the poetry of today's youth, your work is a fresh change. I like the way... how to explain... it's kind ...

"muttering spread through the crowd." - Needs a capital letter. "losing any of our people Teresa" - Needs a comma after 'people.' Don't be scared of speech tags. The second ...

This is a poem I wrote based on a novel I'm working on. There's a man, 22 years old, in love with a woman who he promises to travel the ...

Hahaha, brilliant. You've got a lot of wit, and your personality seems to shine through in your writing. If this is what you're coming up with now you're well on ...

I really like the beginning, and how it goes until about this point > "How my heart felt like knifes covered every speck of the surface," from this point it ...

Generally, I would try to avoid any work of fiction that starts with the words 'The squirrelling quest for pure redemption.' I can only make a guess of what squirreling ...

hatw2.jpg Name: Burri Age: 11 Gender: Unknown Setting: The mansion hallway Time: Five minutes to lunch Tools: Microsoft Paint + Splashup Beta Laptop touchpad Time taken: 43 minutes No. Glitches ...