Tenyo

That's so sweet :) I can't really pick out anything wrong with the piece. It's quite wonderful, the only thing I'd suggest is to add a bit more description to ...

It's rare to find a poem that involves family problems, eating disorders and self mutilation, that doesn't scream out emoism. This is actually quite far from emo. I like the ...

My first and main suggestion for this is to proof read, a lot. I don't usually complain about bad spelling, but this is full of typing errors that, if you ...

Jackie - Black Mages - App 6:30 Which ever way he lent, it hurt. It wasn't like sleeping on a mattress, or a floor, but rather like trying to get ...

Jackie - Black Mages Jackie looked around the hotel room. Already he was feeling slightly homesick, and slightly dizzy from this place. Everything here was different. Danya kicked her feet ...

Ello :) Okay, first glance, the layout looks pretty good. The paragraphs are varied and it doesn't look too bulky to read. I like the characters already, even without reading ...

I like it. I generally and strongly perfer fantasy or sci-fi genres, but this one sounds interesting. Catalina intrigues me. Combining a few of the details you've given I imagine ...

(Flash Fiction: 200 Words) September 2nd - September 5th -1666 It was the end of summer, some time close to midnight. A soft ember from a bakers oven strayed from ...

Jackie - Black Mages He had followed them in to the coffee shop, and had been listening in on their conversations since they had arrived. So these where the Black ...

"Seems like we've all got some kind of story," Peri said, after finding himself sitting on the respawn point. He climbed up awkwardly from his knees to his feet and ...

Aww :( I think the fact that this is addressed to a parent makes it so much more touching, especially with that line 'I'll always love you.' It's like... pleading, ...

Name: Jackie Rie Age: 19 Description of appearance: He's a pretty boy with blonde hair and a side part, green eyes and dark lashes. He's also thin, and loves accessories. ...

How nostalgic... I really like this, though I can't pinpoint why. "Once Upon a Time, I remember not knowing / not knowing that one day I'd look back," That line ...

Part 2 :D Okay, serious critique time. Be careful where you're putting the commas, especially in the beginning. Try not to overuse them or put them in unnecessary places. The ...

Hello :) At first glance this looks quite daunting. It's really long and has a lot of dialogue. Variation is essential in keeping things interesting, even if it is just ...