Tenyo

Hey Jasmine. I like this poem, the details given and the way the journey is described made me feeling like I was the one clinging to the pole, staring out ...

Hey Alles Okay, to start, get rid of the little itallicised note at the beginning. You should have more confidence in your own writing (: The description of this thing ...

Should that be Holocaust? Titles are important, so you should certainly get the titles right, if nothing else. I like the emotion behind the poem, it really drew me in ...

Umm... I like it, I really do. It just seems like there's two poems merged into one here. First is the meeting a man on the beach, and second is ...

I like the idea, but it seems a little dry. You're describing this girl as some kind of man-eater, and describing her, but not really telling why. Perhaps if you ...

Jackie - Black Mages - 7:45 (This is a dream/memory kind of thing) Jackie could hear the sound of pistols shooting. He was sitting at the breakfast table staring at ...

He ran for an hour in the morning, an hour after school, and an hour in the evening. He ran everyday, regardless of where he was, or what the weather ...

Is this a joke? I assume it is. Sorry if it's not. The presentation of this alone is quite dreadful. I understand that you're new, so here's a few basic ...

Awesome! :D This was genuinly so much fun too read, and it's funny how you added a little morale to it too. "One word filled his mind, that word being ...

I'm impressed :D When I first started reading and I realised this was about a cave, I thought, 'how dull,' but this is amazing. The description you've put together is ...

If it was longer I would have found the questions nausiating, but I didn't think it was so bad. That last line got me; it was sweet, but in a ...

I will praise you for trying the acrostic. No, not trying, doing. I'd say you've written this and pulled it off really well. I also really like how the poem ...

I agree that there was a very good hook to this. I'm really curios about what happens next. The thing that stood out a bit too much was the crying. ...

In general, I found it quite scary... Perhaps not in a good way. This whole poem had a very evil vibe to it, and it made me feel uncomfortable. The ...

Haha, that's awesome. The whole thing is quite bitter. You've bluntly insulted your reader, and done it in a way that's so brilliant you can get away with it; I ...