Tenyo

Review [0.04] As I mentioned in 03, I realise you may be posting these as you write them, but really, slot them together and organise them a bit more. Even ...

Review [0.03] Seriously, putting these all into one chapter would be easier to review. I'm kind of starting to get into the story now. Stories about Emo's are difficult and ...

Hey Raven! First things first, what's [0.02] ? Is this the second part of an unedited novel, or is it chapter two? I assume the former. It doesn't really seem ...

I fixed it at last. I decided instead of trying to introduce all the characters at once I'm going to span them out a bit, starting with Sofia's introduction. Again, ...

Hey Ziggie :D Okay, as a newly budding grammar freak, this piece made me cringe. I do like it, but an incomplete sentence is something that, even though people get ...

Hey Jorge. Browsing through your portfolio I think you may want to start taking your writing more seriously, or invest in a blog. A blog is a great place to ...

Hey Angel. My first suggestion would be to unbold the bold parts. When your reader first looks at the poem, they're the first three words they see. Since there's nothing ...

Hey Ease. I like the second best. Th first gets straight to the point, and the second does drag a little. On the other hand the first is quite bland ...

Name: Red Woven Age: 23 Job: Travelling Performer (Jester) Description: He's bouncy, witty, and very childish. He seems to take little seriously, and when forced into a situation that can't ...

Hey Lezalean :D I love this! The idea and the story anyway, it's brilliant. But is it supposed to be a short story? I think you could do some amazing ...

Hey Kitro :) Okay, in all honesty I don't know what to make of this poem. It seems half brilliant and half cliched. I loved the lines "Sure I'll laugh ...

Hey TJ Oo, that's heavy, but brilliant. I can bet that 99% of writers on this site will completely agree with you, as do I. So, to critique! The way ...

Hey Devin :D I must say this poem seems wonderfully intricate. You must always remember though that though some people like intricacy, others prefer simplicity, and so there are two ...

Chapter Two: Housebreaking When in doubt, there are three basic steps to looking after a child. 1) Feed it. 2) Bath it. 3) Put it to bed. There are several ...

This is brilliantly written, and the language used really gives it a nice edge. The imagery is really good and gives a good picture of what's going on. I also ...