Tenyo

I'm Back! I like the way this chapter is written compared to the last, it's much better written, the last one seemed a bit forced. So, what to comment on? ...

And finally part four. Paragraphs: Big, chunky paragraphs are hard to read. You don't seem to have done it much in the previous chapters, but this one is full of ...

Ello again. I've not found much to critique on for this chapter. The story seems to be told in a slightly fairy-taleish way, as if it's written for young children, ...

Review Part Two: Word Tag Syndrome- It's the name writers give to the habit of using lots of fancy word tags like 'boomed' and 'whispered' all the time, when 'said' ...

Hey Crimson! I've here to review your novel! The glitch monster ate my review the first time I typed it out, so if anything here doesn't click together, feel free ...

This is very interesting. Is it based on a previously written story or is it a stand-alone piece of work? There's just enough hints to tell a story behind it, ...

Aww, you don't suck at art! I actually quite like that picture. Compared to professional artists, maybe, but for a writer (not painter) of your age I think that's really ...

I like it :D At some parts of this I was completely engrossed int he story and this world you've created, but I'll move on to th epositives later. First; ...

Woah, this is long, kid! You got to chapter eighteen, I commend you! But in order to make this a little more manageable for reviewers, I would suggest posting it ...

Aww :( This is sad. I understand the theme and idea, but you said this was only allowed to be a page double spaced right? So, it's like poetry in ...

Hey Lil Pet Rock! This is pretty :) I really like the random scatter of colours and hearts in the background, and the blue surface behind it. It's a really ...

Hey Leth! To start: This is an awesome first chapter. It caught my attention right away, and kept it all the way through. You've done a great job of creating ...

(Quick Summary: When Henri first came into my care, we both had a lot to learn. I was struggling to keep up with the problems that were coming up in ...

Back for the last two. Part nine: I can't find much to comment on the style of part nine, but there seems to be one issue popping up. Facts. If ...

Me again. Part five: You don't really need that break in between the two parts, since the second one is very short anyway, and part of the same scene. At ...