TearsOnYourFace

Heya, I love you to review my work, if you'd like. I need a few pointers on how it reads to other people... Thank you! TOYF

Heya, I was wondering if you might review the first part of my novella? I've had people sayinig the writing is too slow, and that they don't understand various words, ...

That summer was the beginning. It was when I began. Began to listen, to see, to feel. To love. Music, clothes, people, whatever took my fancy. All intensified by the ...

There are a few followers to the first poem; here's the next. Confusion, Runs around my head, Holds me hostage, Won't give up the Relentless stream of different dreams Like ...

Really like this. The poem has a great, upbeat rhythm that comes out in reading it out loud. Uplifting, short and sweet. I like! :D

So, my "review" is so not going to be as good as thegirlandthepen's! I should really start to properly review things. But I think she's done it so thoroughly that ...

Ooh, I can't wait to see what you do with this! And a nice short excerpt too... Only thing is that in the last paragraph you have put "minutes" rather ...

Yo! It was the title of this that caught my eye - so nonchalant for such a serious thing! Anyway it looks interesting. Couple of things... There was a gaping ...

Hey, I really like this. It looks like it could turn into an interesting story. The main character is interesting, almost slightly odd, but in a good way because it ...

Hi! :D So I'm SporkPunk, but you can call me Sporks or Sporky. Or whatever floats your boat. Welcome to YWS! So, some stuff you should do first would be ...

Hey, thanks for commenting! Yeh, the no punctuaion thing seems a bit wierd at first, but it's to highlight the rushed, frantic feelings of the narrator. Glad you enjoyed it!

Obsessing Not regretting All those moments In that evening When we flirted And we skirted Over childhood Food And Interests Just to speed through The procedures To the juncture We'd ...

Gorgeous, Flit, I utterly love this. The use of the colours, and the elaborate yet simple descriptions means it plays out in my head as a short film. Definitely a ...

Hey, I really liked this. In fact, this is a useless post, I don't have any crits. Just wanted to say that I thought you'd captured the mood of this ...

Hey... So I'm new...and don't really know what to do... Anyways, yeh, "hi" :smt039 Tearsxx