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Re: The Leading Man's Unlucky Loot (Chapter 1)
Hi I liked the story, but there were a few problems; Karta pulled her trusty pistol out and shot a warning shot. Having 'shot' twice in the same sentence makes ...
Jul 19, 2009 -
Re: Dragon Tamer
Thanks you everyone for reviewing my story! You've been lots of help! I revised my story again and hopefully it's a bit better than before! Thanks again! ~Tayla
Jul 19, 2009 -
Re: For the which path to take contest
Hi Good job writing your story, I liked it. I've just got a few nitpicks for you, though; One of the caves seemed like it was covered with something from ...
Jul 19, 2009 -
Re: The Paper Shredder
Hi This is great! I really enjoyed this piece! I liked Max's unusual hobby. It was funny and you kept the reader drawn in to the very end of the ...
Jul 17, 2009 -
Re: I can't think of a title. (any ideas)?
Hi You need to explain a bit more about what's going on. I would also explain a bit more about the characters. She pulled herself up on her to lean ...
Jul 17, 2009 -
Re: The Dreamwalker - prologue (short)
Good job, that was interesting! as I watched such naïve human aspirations and passions shine through in the world’s their subconscious’s will me to create. This sentence kinda confused me ...
Jul 17, 2009 -
Re: And They All Fall Down Ch. 1 pt. 2
Hi! I really like this part as well. The way you write it really draws the reader in and keeps them there. I hardly found any errors or problems, great ...
Jul 17, 2009 -
Re: Through Hazel Eyes Chapter 1 PT. 1
Hi! This was really good! I was very intrigued and it makes me want to read more! I just had one thing that I wasn't so sure about. To me ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: Sanity’s End Prologue
Hi, Good job, I liked this piece of work. I found a few errors; "take place over the Pacific Ocean, eastern Asia and Australia, and western North and South America." ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: spin the bottle
Hi, Since your piece was kind of short, I can't help you much, but I did find some errors; “It’s your turn Kirsten, truth, Dare, Donkey dare, Love, kiss, Life?” ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: Fantasist (Revised)
Hi Zanna! I liked your story a lot!! I like how you made each world connected to her in some way. Also I found a few sentences that I'm not ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: Alex the Queen; title in process
Hi, Good job so far, keep writing. I found a missing letter; If you lived you whole life believing you are just an ordinary kid It should be; "If you ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: I was a Ghost
Hi I found a few errors; There was something familiar about this mean I think you meant "man" there we lions and elephants carved into the wood. "were" my skin ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: Mosquito Bites
Will you please review this for me? It's my entry for 'Which Path to take' and I need more reviews so I can make it better. Dragon Tamer Fantasy Fiction ...
Jul 15, 2009 -
Re: In need of things to read
Will you please review this for me? Dragon Tamer Fantasy Fiction G Thanks! ~Tayla
Jul 15, 2009
