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Re: Through the Telephone, Love
Thank you, cjscoot. I have taken what you have said under advisement, fixed some to your review, and left some how I had originally written it. Thank you very much ...
Jun 12, 2010 -
Re: Through the Telephone, Love
As he stood there, he could not remember who he was. He could not remember where he'd grown up; his mother's face; his father's name. He could not remember where ...
Jun 11, 2010 -
Re: He Lusts For Imperfections Even Now: a sestina.
He Lusts For Imperfection Even Now I would have you speak of unkind truths, please: not sunshine on the window-glass and soft gloved hands to guide me thus and so, ...
Apr 22, 2009 -
Re: What May Shimmer
Mm, yes, I find I do finally lose all discontent with this poem after switching it. The internal rhyme makes it just as memorable line as any other, which is ...
Apr 22, 2009 -
Re: What May Shimmer
Ah, yes. I'm quite thankful for the extensive review. Before I posted it up here, nearly every response to it was one of exclamation with no criticism. I think part ...
Apr 21, 2009 -
Re: What May Shimmer
This day is gilt in silver, where once the light was gold, And all around me minute droplets hang upon the cold. Its shimmering astounds me, and makes my footsteps ...
Apr 21, 2009 -
Re: In Contradtiction
A flash—ignite! Burn the heavens! Tear that foul streak across the sky! Down here I stare up as it deadens, And I can’t bring myself to cry. The spark implodes, ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: Phobia Phobia Phobia
I like it. Sue me. In fact, I really like it. I think it's poetry. It feels like poetry. It sounds like poetry. poetry: 1. the art of rhythmical composition, ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: Return to the stars-- Chapter one
I like this already, I shall say first. Complicated, but she could do it. She ground her teeth. Anything to get rid of the damn government. This seems rather sudden, ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: Salvete, amici!
-shifty eyes- -slides onto this board NOT stalker-like at all- I also tend to read rules, so I've already accomplished two reviews and haven't yet decided an item to post. ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: The Redemption of Winter
For the Elements of Nature Contest. He paced. Every once in a while, he would stop, slump over the table, supported by his locked elbows, staring down at an empty ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: Salvete, amici!
haha at first when you said that my post was scary, I thought you meant that I was scary. And I felt a tad insulted but then I saw that ...
Feb 24, 2009 -
Re: Salvete, amici!
First of all: Welcome to YWS, Tanner! Secondly, I must say that I was in the middle of a chemistry problem and I only came on to YWS to sooth ...
Feb 24, 2009 -
Re: Shattered
Okay, admittedly, now I'm just going to troll through your writing obsessively. I say again, I adore this. The lengthened lines are a tad cumbersome to work with before you ...
Feb 24, 2009 -
Re: Stained
I have to disagree with all but the last two comments--this is absolute brilliance. I do so adore the strict, rigid rhyme scheme--it helps the words to flow off the ...
Feb 24, 2009
