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Re: Without Him
Dr. Jamie Bondage, I thought this was wonderful! I was practically singing this song in my head. Everything worked for me - and I'm usually a hard lyricist to please! ...
Apr 10, 2008 -
Re: PHOENIX, or, Set Fire to the River
Sam, This was a wonderful poem. I loved the whole morale of it. Just brilliant and sweet at the same time. I especially loved the last line. Really good. One ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: The Better View
I'll admit it: this poem was almost impossible to get through. You need stanzas. Here, let me edit this how I would input those: Imagine you and I go back ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Unloved- Prologue (edited)
I like it. I'll give you that. I like it. It's something that I've always pondered about; would I actually sacrifice myself for someone else's? There weren't many grammar issues ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Fire
Hi, Cat4Prowl. I owe you a critique! This is really good. Really short, but really good. I love the whole 'fire' metaphor you threw in there. It's a lot more ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Stars #1
Cat4Prowl, Thank you! Your kind words have inspired me so much. I'll go back and see if I can change those edits. Thanks a lot! I'll get to critiquing something ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: A good romance book?
Um... the Twilight series was pretty good. Romance, I mean. Ha. You might even become one of those screaming girls, dying to meet Edward. Haha.
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: Jynara Prologue
Hey. I noticed you had no critiques. That's not good! I'm really impressed. There were a few missed commas in some places, but you can catch those later. I've never ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: The Heart of Life
Wow. Aedomir, you are a fantastic writer. Your words are so brilliant and descriptive that I don't feel I can give a proper critique. I loved the whole story. It ...
Apr 8, 2008 -
Re: Lyla. Part 1
Wow. This was a fantastic start! I'm already hooked! You have a lot of grammar issues, but you can always fix those when you edit. But for right now, this ...
Apr 8, 2008 -
Re: Stars #1
Alainna, Thank you so much for the critique! I owe you one now, and I'll get to it quickly! Thanks for the edits; they'll help me later on! I'll go ...
Apr 8, 2008 -
Re: Im a newbie!
You are supposed to put this in the Welcome threads, not the Writing threads. :) I'm not sure how to move this... or if it can. :Sythe:
Apr 8, 2008 -
Re: Raggedy Andy, Raggedy Anne: The Beginning/Millie [Updated]
Hi, there! Since you have so many of these, I'll just give my general opinion. Okay? Part One - She hummed badly a song that her father sang while working, ...
Apr 8, 2008 -
Re: Stars #1
Hi. I know that this isn't all that good, but I just wanted to post something so I can have something posted. Haha. Well, I hope you like it. This ...
Apr 8, 2008 -
Re: lost inside my heart
Hey. I've never been a big fan of emo poetry - it's always a put-down for me. Not very interesting. In most of those, the cut and say their life ...
Apr 8, 2008
