Swires

I thorooughly enjoyed this tale, its a really nice story. Yeah agree with GriffinKeeper's comments as well as this: He then felt his some of his teeth come should it ...

I dont really know what to say to this, it seems like a summary to an entire story, alm ost ike a fairy tale. I dont know how to review ...

Nice. Enjhoyable and aone of the few long pieces that drew me in, seems promising. Hope you write the next chapter soon.

best one yet, the series has improved your writing, the more writing you do the better you will become. Well done.

Nice story, kept me interested into the end, and what an end I want to read more. WRITE MORE NOW! lol. Good job, keep it up.

Thanks Twighlight, I am beginning to love the character of Mersey, he needs to be beaten lol, hes a little **** *goes away to write father beating him scene*

This is the best installment so far, your writing has improved as you have worked through the saga. Some one told me about no chat speak in a story, i ...

NOthing much else happened in this chapter, it was good and it is mainly about the story, no excess description. I am enjoying hte tale but this oine seemed a ...

Ive written the conversation, does this make everything a little clearer?: “Mersey,” She called softly, her heart pounding “, we mustn’t go on.” Her lips uttered these words delicately, push

I tidied it up a bit, but havnt had chance to work on a conversation I have mentally planned from Doe's suggestion. So doe, every time the Boatman is mentioned ...

Thanks for the crit, I edited my typos. Yes, the Boatman is a Grim Reaper type character apart from his appearance and way of killing.

Nice ideas Doe, I like the conversation. It will make clear who Mersey is, although I want to keep his character in partial suspense until later on. Yes he is ...

This was a little confusing but I like how there is a mixture of era like Medival/Modern, the newspaper and the parade. Thanks, my aim for this work is to ...

Nice story, I felt this piece was very maturly written however some parts maybe dragged out a little and created a blandness, perhaps its because the MC was only introduced ...

Short and sweet, sort of a narrative prologue to something more. Are you going to carry on writing this piece?