Sweeney_Todd

O.O HOW could he DO that?! She's DRUNK!!!!! That's SOOO Not cool!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: DUDE! He should be locked up or something for that! Oh SO not cool!

Will you come quietly, or do we have to fight.” That should be a question mark at the end, not a period. Other than that, it was good! It was ...

Okay, first? Armand would never say 'ok', either abbreviated or otherwise. He always says 'all right', and you may want to mention that annoying part of his accent that makes ...

I totally agree with your dad. racism is a tough topic to talk about/ around/ near/ far/ here/ there/ anywhere. But he does have a point. You say something to ...

Surreal! Intoxicating! Descriptive! ...Graphic... The whole Marijuana and dog crap was unexpected, but then again, so was the 'ands feasting on a used condom' bit... :? Wow. You have a ...

The imagery in this piece is beautifully intoxicating as you read. Your choice of words is very 'predatory', and hints at the underlying carnage of the scene being played out ...

Going father up then I shall ever reach. I miss it. That should be 'farther' not 'father' But other than that, I can find no more useful crits worth your ...

*Squeals* PART FOUR IS HERE!!!! They've pretty much covered all the grammar mistakes. but the story flowed really well, but can you describe who/what Landon is and what he looks ...

Nice! sad to say, I can actually relate to this piece, and you captured the feelings it causes REALLY well. I don't usually read poetry (I tend to get lost) ...

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead” –Poor Richard’s Almanac This is a nice quote, but you need to tie it in to the story rather ...

I'm sorry i haven't read in a while! Now, on to buisiness *adjusts librarian glasses with a professional air* like a man to me. He had reddish shoulder-length scraggily hair ...

That was really cool. You have a few small repetitions and typos, but it's not anything that the others haven't already covered. It was sad when they killed Agatha..van...something or ...

Dresses, coats, trousers everything a princess would need. Princesses don't wear trousers, or dungarees for that matter. Just a little note. ~ what is that ? It's Fop, finest in ...

Been there, done that. The story itself is--as you said--a little rough, but you can improve it easily. The first thing you need to focus on is the time period. ...

:shock: :!: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: OH. MY. GOSH!!!!!!!!!!! DARK STORYEZ IZ AWSUM!!!!!!!!!WOOT! That was AMAZING!!! Very suspensful, nice job on the grammar corrections