SushiSashimi333

Okay! Wow, you really did improve this quite a bit! The flow is a lot smoother than before because it doesn't feel like you're trying as hard. I think it ...

Hey! Sushi here to do a review as promised ^_^ Shiny: You keep describing this world that these four gods are going to create as shiny and light. Normally you ...

Wow! This was just stunning! It was all so well written, the beginning makes you wonder why she's running and then the fact that it's just a small encounter, that ...

Sushi here! First I must say that this is very long, so that probably means the review will also be really long. Just a warning. P1: Okay, your first sentence ...

Okay, so I saw this and it sparked my interest and I know that you're a good writer so I just had to read this. P1: This first paragraph was ...

Sushi has returned! Okay, first let me say that your description of the woman lying on the carpet was gruesome and very well done. I could imagine it and I ...

Okay, I'm just gonna start reviewing here. POV: I noticed that you changed the POV again. I don't quite know if this is still Sammy, but if it is I ...

Sushi has returned for the third time now!!! So you know how I work, jumbled while trying to at least "look" neat. Well here I go. Tina: I like that ...

Sushi here to review yet again! As you probably realize I'm not all that organized so try to bare with me. P1: Okay, this first paragraph you kind of repeat ...

Review time with Sushi! Okay, let's get started. I like to review as I go, just a warning. Hook: You're hook is good. It's short and catches your reader's attention. ...

Okay! Sushi here to help with flow and such. So I shall just do this paragraph by paragraph. P1: Your first sentence is pretty long. I think you could shorten ...

Hey, saw your wall post and thought I would check this bit out. I hope this helps! Telling: Okay, so when you talk to the readers you start off with ...

Okay, Sushi here as promised and reviewing nothing really in particular. Sentences: Some of your sentences are really long when they could easily be shortened to sound better. I feel ...

Hi! I don't know much poetry, but I feel like this had a nice rhythm to it that made it easy to read. The only thing I was wondering, do ...

Heyo! Sushi here because your title sparked my interesting. (I review as I read to organize things better.) Quote: I like the fact that first you started this with a ...