SushiSashimi333

Okay, I was just browsing things to review and this one caught my interest! I don't have too much to say, but I'll do my best to give good advice. ...

Okay, I would say that you only have to work on one major thing. Transitions. In the end when you go back from your little revisiting of the gremlin attack ...

So I honestly think that Iggy is doing a far better job than I am at being a sage DX I really will try to keep up with this u.u ...

Okay, I know I'm totally failing as your sage, but I'm here now! (For all that matter DX) I just hope that this review with be worth your while. u.u ...

I'm going to be brief because I'm a bit tired, sadly that also means I'm going to be a bit harsh with you, brace yourself. You have issues with you ...

So you have requested, and right now I'll dissect the writing here, then in the second chapter I'll comment on flow from chapter to chapter. Flow - Sentence Flow: I ...

Hey! I figured I would do some green room reviewing and this piece caught my eye so I though, why not? I'll try to be fast, but knowing myself, that ...

Okay, sorry that I am late yet again, but I think I might be able to help you a bit here for once. Hopefully that is. Okay, so I noticed ...

I liked your little idea here! For a first chapter to make it a dream was a nice idea and a great way to show the reader a little more ...

Sage here and reporting for duty! And again I'm late DX I started writing early then totally forgot that I never reviewed this O_O So I saw that you mentioned ...

So you said I didn't have to review this, but you see, I like talking so I'm going to XD However, to make you feel less guilty or whatever, I ...

I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DXDXDX I really hope I am able to help you DX I can't believe myself DX I'm like the pro procrastinator O_O So I was able ...

Overall your story was pretty good! It was a little predictable when you told me it was sad I got the gist of what was going to happen, however it ...

So you told me about this a long time ago, and now that it's review day I can finally get to it :D Well, I think this is what you ...

So this was in the green room... and I happen to be partaking in review day... so you know why I'm here XD I just hope that I'll be able ...