Sureal

Hi kayfortnight! Thanks for the review. The delayed introduction of the first person narration is intentional, but it's something both you and Lycando mentioned, so exactly how I go about ...

Hi kayfortnight! Thanks for the review. The delayed introduction of the first person narration is intentional, but it's something both you and Lycando mentioned, so exactly how I go about ...

Hi Kafkaescence! Thanks for the feedback anyway, lol. I'm sure there's still some helpful stuff I can mine from your critique when I come back to edit this for the ...

Hi Lycando! Thanks for the feedback. You've brought up two of my main concerns with this prologue: that the sudden introduction of the first-person narrator isn't handled as well as ...

Thank you very much for the review. =) Just a note, though - I'm English, and single quotation marks are more common than double here. Harry Potter, for example, uses ...

There always struck me as something being off about that part, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I think you may have nailed it.

Thank you very much for the indepth and critical review. As noted earlier, you are an amaze.

Hmm, re-reading I think I can see some tense issues here. Fail.

For the curious, Chapter Two can be found here:

Thanks for the feedback, lovely people. I want to cuddle the three of you.

'sup people. ^_^ Thanks everyone for your feedback. I've made some minor changes to this chapter, and hope to do some more radical edits later on. Chapter 2 and 3 ...

Ooh, you're right, Jigster, I meant to post this Romantic Fiction. Not sure why I stuck in Other Fiction. I blame it on force of habit. Moved. Anyways, you both ...

Locked due to plagiarism. This is like the most famous haiku on the internet, y'know.

Oh blimey, how did I get that wrong? Thanks for catching it. =)

Thanks for the speedy reply, captain.classy. =) Oops - that's what happens when you edit, but don't then re-read the edited sentence. That should have been 'The air is warmer ...