Sureal

'lo Phorcys 8). ‘The church was alight with candles and torches, a strong heat.’ - I’m not sure this is grammatically correct. I’ve read it multiple times and still can’t ...

Meh, it won't make much difference. Most people start smoking when they're 13/14 anyway.

You don't have to take my advice if you don't want too: everything I said is my opinion, and this is your story. I - as a reader - found ...

Okay, although this is well enough written, none of your characters behave realistically. Let’s look at each character in turn: Joy: - An innocent girl, who appears to be madly ...

If you have your parent's permission, than it's allowed (or summit like that).

Um, what misspriss said. The missing spaces is the first thing that jumps out at me here. I can tell you know where they should be, as you don't always ...

Hi ^_^. ‘I had never been good about standing in front of a crowd, and even though there were only seven of them, it felt like the whole island on ...

Hello Myth :). ‘There was news of a freak down at the waterfront under Lebrent Bridge.’ - I love this opening line. It really caught my attention. ‘Maybe It had ...

Hello 8). ‘and pulled his leathre jacket tighter’ - ‘leathre’ = ‘leather’. ‘Tall pines towered over him, swaying slightly in the bitter wind . He hated to be out in ...

This isn't really formatted like a poem. Rather, it's prose. Something more like: Brothers fighting brothers, dreams crashing down, A frown upon many a noble brow, A battle rages an ...

Yo ^_^. "You fool, what were you thinking. You could have been killed," says a young women. "Only you would be so stupid." She starts to rap a bandage around ...

Heh, Japan sounds cool. I wanna go now ;).

Yup. And in regards to dragons, you could mention them having hollow bones to make them lighter. Or make a mention of the location they live in having more oxygen ...

Evolving Your Alien Species When writing a sci-fi story involving aliens, I like to think through how that aliens could have evolved. In my opinion, this is especially important if ...

Sureal: *is scarred for life* Then my work here is done 8).