Sureal

BTW: Who is Pratchett? Never read him, lol. Terry Pratchett is one of the best selling British authors, beaten only JK Rowling. He's the author of the fantasy humour/satire series, ...

Yo again 8). Rosin /2 ‘The sage , emotionless, limped towards him’ - Everywhere else you’ve capitalised ‘Sage’. ‘Rosin smiled again, nothing like a Sage, it was in their blood.’ ...

I'm sorry; I can't think of anything to crit with this, so I'll leave that to others more skilled in the sacred art of critting. Instead, I'll say what I ...

Hello gymnast_789 ^_^. The following crit is going to sound a lot harsher than the other’s you’ve had so far. Please note that this isn’t me being mean, but me ...

Oh, if this is what you wanna put in your enquiry to an editor/literary agent, may I suggest that you scrap this blurb and rewrite it from start? Don't want ...

Is this the first book in a planned trilogy? Does your novel contain characters transported from the real world to a fantasy realm? Eep. Still, only two outta seventy-five :P. ...

Thanks for the crit :). I'll be editting this today. Two things: This is for my own homework - why do you only use single speech marks? Ive always used ...

Oh, my bad. I accessed it from the 'View posts since last visit' page, which doesn't show the descriptions.

This could do with more telling, and less showing. At the moment you're just saying 'this happened, she spoke with this person, then this happened' etc, so that it reads ...

Thank you so much for the crit :). The whole sentance structure thing had been really bugging me, but I hadn't been able to work out what the problem was ...

‘with her giving me a good-by kiss, I even though them beautiful,’ - ‘good-by’ = ‘good-bye’ (or ‘goodbye’). - ‘though’ = ‘thought’. ‘Still, when I finally understood and took

Pandora’s Tears Chapter One -- Demons Date: 13th August, 2011 ‘Lieutenant, behind you!’ Assault rifle raised, Drace spun to face the charging demon. With a twisted roar that was almost ...

I rely on my head. Your heart is designed for pumping blood around yah system, and that's about it, so I aint gonna follow it anyway. If, however, you actually ...

Hello again :). ‘My parents died when I was three, so I barely remember them.’ - I think this cold work better as an opening than the first sentence (simply ...

‘Lillith saw that if she looked for too long at the cloth, a lightheadedness started to overwhelm her.’ - ‘lightheadedness’ = light-headedness or light headedness. - How can she see ...