Sureal

I like it. :) Although, I can't help thinking that stanza 4, line 1 finishes a word early. Couldn't you move 'love' up a line? (So that it reads, 'Maybe ...

Quantum mechanics hurt my head. Everytime I try to read about them, I can't grasp the concepts. :(

I read this before you changed the first line, and had no idea what it was about. But since you've changed the opening line and made it clear what an ...

Why did someone have to create it?

The main problem you have here is that your rhyme scheme is dictating what it is you're saying - it's 'forced', in other words. This shouldn't be the case. I ...

Personally, I think Paolini is an excellent speaker, and I suspect this is where a lot of his success comes from. When he speaks about his writing, he's very confident, ...

Evanelina: Maggots are far (far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far ...

Who knows, maybe the next two books will actually be well written? He's young after all - presumably he's still improving his writing.

'The cat was called Sam, it was sat on the mat.' is a comma splice.

9/10 - love the colour palette.

As part of my Creative Writing course I have to submit a portfolio of four poems by Friday. This is the second poem (the first is The Daemon's Bride ). ...

I have actually posted an earlier version of this poem (see here ) but as part of my Creative Writing course I have to submit a portfolio of four poems ...

The word 'said' is your god when it comes to dialogue. Worhsip it, build shrines to it, write holy books about it. Seriously, over using synonims for said is a ...

Yeah, a quick bit of research reveals that they're just a vanity publisher. You'll get the same sort of thing you'd get with Lulu, only it'll cost you $6,000, rather ...

Seriously, don't write back. They'll take your money, produce a crappy book (that won't appear in any shops), and quite likely force you to buy a certain number of the ...