Sureal

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune and The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion for my Playstation 3, and Planet Earth on DVD. ^_^

‘lo again. ^_^ Benu crouched inside his small house, it was far better than most peasants had. You have a comma splice here. This means that the two parts of ...

There's a law in the Bible (in the OT) about artificially forcing a miscarriage, which is kind of similiar. Although, interestingly, the punishment for this is less than the punishment ...

What's a redskin?

I can't see any problems with the tenses.

‘lo Dreami. ^_^ This final battle would seal the fate of Esrydil forever. Good opener. It grabs the reader’s attention from the very beginning. My heart pounded f ast, f ...

Hey there alleycat13. ^_^ As a woman, I don't believe abortion is "a woman's choice". A woman's choice is whether to have sex or not. Do not underestimate the power ...

Thanks y'all for your reviews - they're all much appreciated. I'll be sure to check back on your advice when I come to edit this. ^_^ Work's finally begun on ...

‘lo again, dude. ^_^ I won’t bother pointing out the problems with dialogue grammar. I’ll let you fix ‘em yourself. ^_^ walking down the white washed walls filled with beautiful ...

‘lo there Errant. ^_^ I’m impressed by the amount you’ve written and the amount of work you’ve put into world-building. I wish I was as dedicated. :( Having said that, ...

Hello there R.J. Hoffman. ^_^ I was going to give this story a review, seeing that it has yet to recieve any, but I'm afraid you've done a couple of ...

‘lo there Rory. ^_^ Before I begin the crit, I suppose I’d best out that YWS has a rule stating that before you post your own story/poem, you have to ...

Hello there ren3494. ^_^ Some thoughts: 1) Re-read this. This is the golden rule of writing. Proofreading is oh so important. There are a number of silly mistakes in here ...

Yay for vampire stories. ^_^ the corpse that once had been a live , ‘a live’ = ‘alive’. First paragraph: A good hook for an opener, but it leaves me ...

All throughout this story you tell, rather than show. This is the wrong way round: showing, good; too much telling, bad. (Wikipedia has a pretty good article on 'show, don't ...