SuicideKing

Impress me. Name: Richard Mason Age: 32 Height/Weight: 5'8"/160lbs. Hair/Eyes: Black Crew Cut/Steely Blue Ethnicity: Prussian Personality: Speaks softly and slowly, an intentional speech pattern that

His strong pronounced cheek bones and deep brown eyes keeping her spell bound. Fragment: Either make this a part of the previous sentence or make it a complete thought. "His ...

The single door was a car door which was open and guarded by the red haired man. A...car door? And how is this managed? It seems to make no sense ...

Angel. This picture is very well done, in spirit. The pencil work is great, for the most part, and the idea is excellent. Your execution, however, could use a little ...

Simply to live, of course.

I reread the line in Shakespeares' MacBeth, where Lady MacBeth is convincing her husband to kill the king. Ah, the thrill of the kill... Awkwardly phrased. I think it should ...

The atmosphere of this piece was excellent. You captured the panic and the danger of a roaring fire quite well, and your protagonist was believable for the most part. In ...

Peri: While I noticed the occasional nitpick of a "your" instead of "you're" and perhaps a missed letter in a word, this piece was excellent. I have a few general ...

For starter's, ruining one's self esteem is not the same as popping a bubble of egotistical goodness. So long as you accept that while you may be proud of this ...

Hello, Heart. To be perfectly honest, the fact that you put this up without running it through a spelling or grammar check first shows a bit of disrespect for your ...

I agree with Chernobyl. Frankly, I don't care about the protagonist right now. I don't know enough about her to care that she has cancer or that she's dying. If ...

JFW: Sometimes harsh words are the best fit for harsh situations, no? Perhaps you have not merely encountered a situation that you deem it necessary to use anything else. Another ...

Picture 1: Very interesting. No exactly a choice of art seen every day. I especially like the garden, with the tree. Picture 2: Looks almost professional, in all honesty. Something ...

I'm not from England, haha, though I do originate there. Colonies = East Coast, at least by my own reckoning.

Agreed @ Dream Deep. When the critiques that follow the story are many times longer than the piece itself, there may be something wrong. I believe this is the case. ...