Stripes

Hello! As I said to Mr. Knightley, I'm sorry it took so long to get to this--I've had kind of a crazy few days. It looks like most of what ...

Seems like we miss it every time-- the music too quiet, the outside noise too great. We hear the bells, leap up shrieking to get the door and then it's ...

Seems like we miss it every time-- the music too quiet, the outside noise too great. We hear the bells, leap up shrieking to get the door and then it's ...

Very insightful! The metaphor is original and well-thought-out. You might want to correct a few typos, though. :wink: Also, these lines are a little mixed up: creating a soothing tune ...

I have to say, I'm very impressed. The imagery in this poem is stunning, and it leaves you feeling intrigued and moved and wanting more. Very powerful. There are a ...

Hello! Looking at this as a first pass, I think you're doing pretty well, but it does need some serious clean-up. The most pressing problem is the grammar: Lilicia mentioned ...

(Second draft! I edited a few things.) Grown sisters walking at midday, out on these familiar streets, we fall into younger rhythms: talk of things long understood, or the comfortable ...

Hello! It sounds like you've got an interesting concept here, an interesting story, but as yet I can't quite see what's going on. You don't have to hit us over ...

Hello! I have to agree with Babanuuk here--you write powerfully and create an intense atmosphere in this piece, but that's all there is. I'm curious to know more: what's going ...

Hi! I'm Stripes, I'm new here, too. I think you have a good concept here, but you're being held back by your determination to rhyme. To me this poems feels ...

*waves back at everyone* *shakes Kat's hand because that was cool* Thanks for all the info! I will be keeping those things in mind. Wow, lots of questions...I'm kind of ...

Hi! I know you already replied to some critiques on this, but I thought I would mention a couple of things... First, I'm not sure I agree with the assessment ...

Hi! My name is Stripes. Just thought I would say hi, put myself out there in the threads...I intend to get started as soon as possible. I'm a second-year at ...