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Re: Butterfly Tiger
Like was already said, the right wing's smaller than the left. The eyes/nose/etc. are drawn really well though, and I think if you added some color it'd be even better. ...
Apr 20, 2010 -
Re: Drenched in Rain
Hey there. Creative beginning, the only thing is that when I first read it the "she" got a little confusing because you were talking about both Mother Nature and your ...
Apr 20, 2010 -
Re: A Soul To The Heavens
Pointing this out just because I read another one of your poems, but this poem and the other have the same rhyme scheme. And like I said in the other ...
Apr 19, 2010 -
Re: (calm) Like a Bomb
Hey, You wonder why I sleep with a goddam 357 Magnum under my pillow and a fucking Mossberg shotgun under my bed. First thing I want to point out is ...
Apr 19, 2010 -
Re: all i can write about is robots
Hey, I liked this, just a couple of things. The first is the title, like they've already pointed out. I mean, it made me curious to read it but it ...
Apr 19, 2010 -
Re: Sound Of Silence
Really good, really sad...I think Isha already pointed out pretty well what needed to be fixed, so I'm not going to reiterate. One word of advice, though: don't ever sacrifice ...
Apr 19, 2010 -
Re: Who Am I?
***Well, a year or so back I was on this site called (until I found YWS which I like a lot better :) ) and I went back on again ...
Apr 19, 2010 -
Re: #11
I liked it all except for the last couple of lines-- She pretends to like them, and goes so far that they won't suspect, the grisly fate which awaits them. ...
Apr 19, 2010 -
Re: Haven't really decided on a name yet
I see a lot of people critisizing the lack of spacing...are you having problems with that like I am? I mean, I put spacings for the original and such, but ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: Can you see me? (Prologue)
Hi there. :D I was seven years old when I first met my older sister, my deceased older sister. I would make this more dramatic, something like "I was seven ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: The Lullaby
*Liked This was awesome. I think I held my breath through the whole thing. I read trying to plot out a dozen different typical scenarios as to how this was ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: The Inevitable Weakness: Fear (drawing/painting)
I think this is really cool. The only thing I'd fix is the pencil lines around the edge...they're scribbly and look like you were just in a hurry to get ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: She Laid Dead in My Arms
Hey there, The beginning felt a little rocky to me (beginnings are so hard some times, aren't they?) but like Duskglimmer said, it smoothed out nicely. Dustglimmer covered this really ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: couture no more
Well I suppose you're tired of hearing this by now, and I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record, but the poem is hard to understand. I also don't ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: I'd lie
*Liked I really love this...your wording's beautiful and while romances typically seem so boring to me I really like this one. It pretty much avoids cliche (hard in this field ...
Apr 18, 2010
