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Re: A Letter
So basically I was trying to write this through talking to the actual letter as though it was a person, then later pulling away to look at it as a ...
Oct 13, 2011 -
Re: Silent Secrets Chapter 1 (Memories)
Have you ever read Cry, the Beloved Country? (I think that's what it's called). I didn't like the book in itself but it was also written in poetry format, so ...
Oct 13, 2011 -
Re: The Choice
Is there anybody out there, who’ll hear my urgent words, Don't need either of these commas Of a foolish species’ failure, to make a better world? Does anybody reali z ...
Oct 13, 2011 -
Re: Forgetful
*Liked Hahaha this made me laugh! I have kind of have a really minor form of short-term memory loss (it takes me a week or two to typically remember things) ...
Oct 11, 2011 -
Re: Insomnia
I'm an insomniac, so I like the idea, but I kind of felt like you could've said more. Then again, as a first attempt this is really good! I think ...
Oct 9, 2011 -
Re: she's a liar like me
you broke your heart again today as you did yesterday, and the day before. contrite are you who lets lips swoon words in which you never meant; sickly and delightfully ...
Oct 9, 2011 -
Re: Summer
I liked this a lot, and since the first reviewer did an awesome job at getting all the little stuff, I don't think I have much to complain about! I ...
Oct 9, 2011 -
Re: Sunflowers
This has a really pretty mental image; I love happy poetry. ^_^ On the other hand, I think you use the word "sun" too much, because even though it sounds ...
Oct 9, 2011 -
Re: Wolf
This was pretty interesting, but I don't really understand who the "me" is in this poem, and I think that's what's throwing me for a loop. Who is "me?" Anyway, ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Everything beautiful
The first was definitely my favorite; it's just got soft colors and looks really pretty. The ones with the daffodils have a light that's almost too saturated, and the ones ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Hopes, Depths, and Despairs
This might sound a little strange, but to me this almost seemed a little too...organized? It felt a little more like an essay format than a poem's, where an essay ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Poetry is...
This was pretty good, but I felt like you worked too hard to make it fit the mold you're trying to put it into - which is a good challenge, ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: I Fight.
That was pretty cool, I've done the same sort of thing with the spelling on the side and it can definitely get tricky. Here's just a couple of small suggestions: ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Jack
I think that people tend to write a lot of angst-ridden stuff that I typically toss into the "emo" pile of literary works, but actually you articulated this pretty well. ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Walls
I felt like this was just a little lackluster. I mean, it's not in any way a bad poem, it just doesn't add any new or unheard of concepts for ...
Oct 5, 2011
