Stori

Before I put my foot- or claw- in it, what's this all about? The "daemons" are I guess animal companions. But what's required to play?

Well, I never wrote an "if" poem. I don't know, but anyway thanks for the effort. Try working on this some more, maybe expanding.

Oh, I want PhotoShop! It's no fun working with Printmaster; you don't get near as many options. I don't have a scanner to my name either! *Pulls hair* Oy, what ...

"Kaltan," muttered the cardinal. "Come on, it's not safe here." "What 'bat boy' were they talking about?" "Oh, it's all over town. Some boy got kidnapped." I shook my head. ...

Okay, I like. One thing: give us more of a description of the planet. What are its colors? What do the skyways and cars look like? That kind of thing ...

Okay, the "suits" are machines called "mobile suits." The Gundams are the elite of the suits. Unity is from my head, but there are five others. Wing Zero, Heavy Arms, ...

"Chance, you're awfully quiet. Is something on your mind?" "No, I was... Oh, yes. I was thinking, 'Why can't I leave the island?'" "Leave?" Hope almost squeaked. "Where would you ...

Panting, exhausted, I finally had to land. The spell had long worn out. Doku was nowhere in sight. I moaned, feeling wretched. This whole business was killing me. "Are you ...

Just troubleshooting! Just chasing the breeze. Surfing the net Just as I so please. Well all of a sudden "Error" it says So it turned out To be one of ...

Cannot you see just doesn't work. It should be "Can't you see" or "Can you not see". The descritpion is great. Fix that little error, and you're home free.

Okay, can we be more specific? I forgot my storybook name. Could someone please mail me?

You need to define Gabri and some more. She has no description besides pale cheeks. And there are a few mistakes. "You, me, and some others," one of the sentenced ...

Lovely! I don't have much of "night life" in my town, just frogs and cats. Anyway, thanks. You know, I once saw four otters.

It's too long! Break up the dialog. Keep the flow going.

What's that? Male alternative yuck! I meant this as an expression, not a real song, so 'pologies. Thanks for the critique.