Stori

Shard stared at the crystal that had earned him his nickname. The stone was broken but could still hold power. He remembered that day: trying to cure a disease that ...

So what happened to chapter 1? This nees some explanation. Why are they being trained? Were they drafted or did they volunteer? All those questions need to be answered. So, ...

I didn't know the setting was so modern. The first chapter gave me a feel of maybe early England. Anywho, it's good. I like the description. Keep writing.

Winter isn't the best time for growing up. That's true whether you're a human or an alley cat. My name, or one of them, is Patch. I've had many names. ...

Okay, first off, you need to describe the girls more. And naming her parents doesn't add much to the story. Well, the whole thing was well done. Maybe you should ...

Wow. It seems like Peter Pan, only with girls and an older target audience. I love the description of the sunset. All in all, a good work. I'd suggest you ...

Who's got the blasted-trips over it-bucket?

Hello, it's Kyte. If you had a name like mine, you'd want to retitle yourself :D Just kidding. So, I'm into fantsy and sci-fi. If you are, too, check out ...

Break this up!!! It's way too long, and doesn't properly introduce the character. All we know is that he hates the gods for turning him mortal.

An error: "Not even a rug vacated the floor." That's not right; to vacate means to leave. So fix that, and good job.

Just a few errors. "Know one" should be "No one." Well, a gallant effort. [takes hat off]

I'm into anime, mostly. I like "Advent Children" and "Gundam Wing." Some others as well, "Wolf's Rain" comes to mind. So, welcome to YWS. PM me if you have questions. ...

"Mechanics of a motion" doesn't sit well with me. Maybe "the mechanics of emotion?" Anyway, great poem!

I don't express my goals in numbers. It's quality, not quantity! I want to go back and revise my older work, but haven't gotten to it. So expect lots of ...

Well, I'm reading "Descending Darkness" by Harry Turtledove. It promises to be an interesting read. The theme is "World War in a world where magic works" (shudder.)