Stori

Oh boy. You got your eras mixed up. A neon sign over the bar, but the customers carry spears?

Great job, it's not stupid at all. Keep up the good work.

Yeah, I'm in!! *Holds up flag* Young writers forever! Where should we meet?

Man I don't care it it's got video, music is enough. I had a nice gray iPod but don't know what happened to it :(

Woah boy. Adam Atlantean doesn't exactly ring a a bell. Anyway, congrats to the new moderators. Sorry, no cookies.

Congratulations! I wish I could put out a thousand words a day :( So great job, and maybe you could start posting all those words?

What do you mean, switched to third person? I can't spot a mistake.

Gads, you have to be at leas 20! Nobody but an adult would write that.

I think this has potential. It's well written and the pace is all right. I do agree that you should give the characters more detail.

I like it! The chorus was well done.

Funny... Too funny! I laughed straight through the aquarium scene. Heck, I'm still trying to can the giggles. Great job!

Wow. I love Kingdom Hearts. And Star Ocean is all right. Did you ever see Star Ocean Ex? That's funny.

"I just love food prepared by machine," Clark mutters. "You'd think the government would provide us with live chefs." "That's our president's policy. He'd rather feed 'ordinary' citizens the good ...

I'm definitely not what you'd call average. I'm one of the only pair of human clones sanctioned by the government. How it all came about is a long story. Suffice ...

I agree. "Hart" means "male deer." It should be "heart." Otherwise, a good piece. Keep at it.