Stori

Lyle glanced around cautiously before letting his guard slip. In a matter of seconds, the lad was replaced by a trim gray fox. It shook its coat out to rid ...

It's good. A few errors, like once you spelled Nami as Name. That's about all.

I'm not sure what age, maybe ten. It was an attempt to emulate Brian Jacques with the story of a young mouse taken as a slave. The beginning went like ...

A love poem? It does tell a good story, but lacks anything emotionally. Or maybe that's just me. Revise the first few stanzas. Give us more solid description.

Well, I don't know about italics. The whole thing flowed smoothly, with no questions coming to mind. Good job, Lizzy.

K, this needs some work. "He rose an eyebrow" does not work. It should be raised. And did you spell James differently, or is it a new name?

Miles was having a good time. As Spider-man swung across New York, he absently fingered some popcorn. What was this plastic bit? He dug it out. It was a cheap ...

It's my opinion, but I think you should spell out the numbers. Don't start a sentence with a numeral.

My fault. He looks a lot like a dragon, only about the size of a cat. Also, he can blend into the background. Very long tail, which he uses to ...

Miran watched the girls from a nearby tree. There were advantages to being so small. He was wary of making himself known. People didn't take kindly to dragons, or demidrakes, ...

Name: Miran Type: Demidrake [1/4 dragon] Looks: red scales, long tail like a wyvern. Has a crest on his head that inflates when he's angry or scared. Personality: A loner. ...

Suspenseful. I like it. The description could use work though.

Keep a journal. I do, and i occasionally write ideas in it. So, make it a blank book or a small notebook. Make sure it fits in your pocket. Otherwise, ...

Miles He looked around the park and sighed. Amber was late. He picked a grass blade and twirled it between her thumb and forefinger. "Bother, I forgot to feed Tigre," ...

Great job. But please break it up.