Sorice007

Crabapple Cove August 22, 1953 "So Hawk, whats on the menu?" asked B.J. Hunnicut "Well, Beej, I do know that the main course will be fresh Maine lobster and filet ...

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As the yellow taxi drove down the long stone driveway, in front a them appeared a large country estate with a sign that said "Dr. Daniel J. Pierce" The house ...

Well, the cheesy factor is a bit much, but it seems like you're adding fictional elements to real life events in your own life. (Like the part about the you ...

Well, the plot seems interesting. However, there is way too much dialogue and not nearly enough description. I know this is only the first chapter, but you need to let ...

He looked down as the chopper lifted off the pad to see the word Goodbye spelled out in stones, "Goodbye Beej!" he said to himself, as he left what now ...

1. Except in very limited situations, dialogue needs to end with punctuation, for example: "Hello," she said. "Hello!" she said. "Hello?" she said. I agree with this. Also, "radio set" ...

Bill Nye, the Science Guy! FUNNY! (Should have had something about John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt to make it funnier! (Like one of the alien's names was that) The story is ...

Wow! I love this short story, and believe some kindergarten teacher somewhere will be reading it soon! (Honestly, it's publishable) I would like to read it again and again, like ...