Silver

Hm, this is an interesting story. It's a bit hard to critique because the style reminds me so much of my own, but it'll be a nice challenge. So, in ...

Thank you, all! The disconnection is intentional, to symbolize kind a Cartesian duality where the anoretic doesn't necessarily feel a big connection to her own body, and the monotony of ...

Hi! I love the message that this poem is trying to get across, like seeing into the mind of a bully. Some of the rhymes do seem a bit forced, ...

Oh, this is really sweet and short and well written. I love how, for the most part, you avoid cliches. Perhaps change the butterflies-in-my-stomach line, describe it more originally, but ...

Hi! I really liked your poem. The repetition of words and phrases really fit. I love your style in this. There are some things I would change, but they aren't ...

5:00; alarm rings one, twice, three times series of beeps and blasts a pattern, still recognizable in the just-woke-up daze. 102; numbers flash too much, too much rubbing sleep from ...

Thank you guys for the excellent reviews! I had experimented a bit with different words for both the title and the ending. "Good-bye" sort of slipped my mind. I think ...

Hi! This chapter really pulled me in. Although there were a few mistakes and places I would have worded things differently, it was really good. I didn't really notice too ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS. I really like your poem; it's so deep! But I think the lines could be shorter. I added in places where I think there could be ...

This sounds interesting. Moose.

Hi! I like your poem. It does have pretty good rhyming; none of it seems very forced. In the second stanza, especially at the end, you lose your rhyme. I ...

Hi! This is my first attempt at critiquing artwork, so don't take anything I say too seriously. I draw a bit, but I'm mostly self-taught and I don't really know ...

Oh, okay :) I didn't know there were more parts. I'm sure this would make much more sense if I had read the other parts :P Also, same for me. ...

Hello! Nice poem you have here. It flows pretty nicely. It could use a bit more feeling: it doesn't seem very dramatic and it seems really formal. The rhymes feel ...

Hello! I really like where you're trying to go with this; like how war costs so much in death tolls and how they're so meaningless, am I right? I just ...