Shepherd

Cool! 1) This photograph has a great angle, and the curve of the shadow makes the image interesting. Incidentally, it also makes the picture look sharper, and although I love ...

Cool! This is a very nice composition, and I think you made a good decision by intensifying the colors. I have only two suggestions, and they are minor, because I ...

There are a couple of grammatical errors, here, but I'm sure you will see that as you review this. One or two things that bothered me while reading: It seems ...

Mill - uhn. Like Million. Except without the "yu" sound from the li. This way.

This is an interesting poem! I think, though, that it lacks depth. What you've done here is scratch the surface of something meaningful, and I think perhaps you have left ...

Actually I think this is lovely! Tips for clearer image, first, because I would love to see you re-post this so we can critique it a little better! Try taking ...

Snoink Thanks! Sheep don't attack much, but my sheep always lead with their heads =P I don't know that I've ever been kicked by a sheep! Unfortunately for those who ...

I do agree that the gryphon's (?) legs appear to be foreshortened somewhat. This not only detracts from the realism, but I think it breaks up the lovely shape you ...

I completely missed the suicide at the end, until I read the comments and went back. I like this story a lot, but I think your biggest trouble is pacing. ...

This seems to me as though it began as a short story, and was then broken up as a poem. It isn't bad, I don't think: only that I never ...

Actually, I think generally what was lacking in this poem was emotion. Your sense of rhythm was clipped and sure, which for this particular subject may be a poor choice. ...

Welcome to YWS! A few people have already picked up on the grammatical errors that--for me--were an issue that detracted from the overall draw of this piece. Since it's a ...

Thanks, all! Kylan Certainly your interpretation wasn't strictly literal, but you are bound by your perception of the sheep as a docile thing. The point here is that the sheep ...

LastPaladin Thanks! Looking back more carefully at this poem, I can see that using "mine" did not prove to be an enhancement of the tone (which I'd hoped it would ...

*coco: You're right, no storyline yet! I debated this, but I want it to be simple for readers to get a handle on my characters before I launch right into ...