Shearwater

Thanks guys, I've edited a few things for right now and I might go back and fix things later (at work). Thanks again for the reviews and gold stars! :D ...

Hey Jayleigh! Pink here (again) Yay, you made it longer! This is a great start, the ending was a bit mysterious because I have no idea 'what' she might be ...

Hi GryphonFledging, Just to answer your question, yes she is afraid of Nicholas because of the way he fights. She enjoys brawling with everyone it's just that there's something about ...

Aww thanks, that comment made me feel super awesome. I'm definitely planing on expanding this if it builds up. Thanks again! ~Pink

Yeah I know, I'm a total Cassandra Clare fan. Don't worry it's just the beginning that seems similar to Mortal Instruments. The next chapters are like, way off. I'm glad ...

Oh, wow... I'm glad you all like it! I thought of this at work one day and when I got home just wrote it down like crazy. I was on ...

Thanks for the comments, I'm glad you guys enjoyed this! I caught a few mistakes myself and edited them. I think I fixed most of the common mistakes, like typos ...

Hey guys, thanks for picking out the tiny little mistakes. I reviewed this [yet again] and made some small changes and hopefully there's no more weird typos or odd sentences. ...

Yay, finally chapter five! Okay, so you totally changed a lot of things, which isn't bad at all. I still love the way you write Fawn's emotions. She's really funny! ...

Hey Jayliegh! Wow this chapter is like, totally different. Except for the beginning... Well, I spotted a few silly mistakes that I'd like to point out. I hope over the ...

Hey Jayliegh! I can't do a full-on review but I can give you some tips and well, stuff. Okay, amazing job on the introduction! It sounds much better than it ...

Hello, thanks for the tips everyone. I'm going to make my chapters shorter and add some more details. It'll be easier for everyone to read. Plus it's harder to edit ...

Edited Thanks for the review. I didn't know I was capitalizing everything! I'm hitting my head right now, hah-ha. I took out the last part for my own benefit later ...

Oh, you did it again! This was awesome, Although I'm also disappointed that it's a short story. This could go on and on, I see so many opportunities for expansion. ...

Firstly, Thank you all for your critiques! I've realized many mistakes in my first chapter and I think I fixed most of them. I've also added a few other things ...