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Re: Untitled
Chapter 1 My name is Awenasa. It means “my home” in the language of the white man. Because it is not a “proper” name, they call me Sadie. The white ...
Jul 14, 2009 -
Re: Dream
[quote="XavierJohnson123"] Her bosom excited and agitated by the caresses of your hand. [/quote] I loved this qoute. It explains it so well. I am only 15, but I know what ...
Dec 3, 2008 -
Re: One Kiss
If you could help me come up with a title that would be great!! *********************************************************************************** It was December. It was beginning to get cold. We ha
Nov 21, 2008 -
Re: Looking for good books (preferably vampire)
If you are into adult-ish vampire books, there is a series, the first book in the series is Guilty Pleasures. The author is Laurel K. Hamilton. They are EXCELLENT!!
Nov 21, 2008 -
Re: Why I Do What I Do....
I wrote a similar poem, and I have to say I know how you feel. But I didnt really like the ending. It was too much "in your face" and ...
Nov 20, 2008 -
Re: Despair Consumes Me
I dont want to be rude, but I didnt like it. It just wasnt as good as some of your other writing. There are some spelling mistakes that I noticed. ...
Nov 18, 2008 -
Re: One Cut
I know it doesnt flow very well, it isnt meant to. But I would love you to critique any other aspect of this poem! Thanks!! **************************************** “One cut” you said, ...
Nov 17, 2008 -
Re: Won't Happen Again
I loved this poem. The deeper meaning behind it made it even better. my favorite lines have to be; "I've been taken advantage of, I've been hurt and scorned. I ...
Nov 17, 2008 -
Re: Love You Forever
"But if forever was a day, I don't want to love you that way." I think this is the best quote throughout the piece. But i did love the full ...
Nov 17, 2008 -
Re: Poetry Fight
I loved it...its hilarious. thank you for making me laugh! i needed it.
Nov 17, 2008 -
Re: Untitled
The day started normal Just like any other day The rain fell without a breath But the tree fell anyway We lost power but it was alright We got a ...
Nov 14, 2008 -
Re: Random Poem
Dramma pointed out the mistakes for me. :) But i loved it, it is spontaneous, and fun. It put a smile on my face and that was what it was ...
Nov 14, 2008 -
Re: pain
This poem captures the jist of depression, but if you want it to really touch someone, I would add a lot more. there are a few spelling errors, such as ...
Nov 14, 2008 -
Re: That's What Life Is (Extract 1)
This was an excellent piece for written so late at night. it made my cry! it was a shock when she said "Mom's dead". It brought back memories of when ...
Nov 12, 2008 -
Re: Goodbyes
This is beautifully written. I lost my father two years ago but it was kind of instant. but this still brings tears to my eyes. Its so raw and true. ...
Nov 10, 2008
