-
Re: The Moon's Jealous Revenge
This poem is so neat, especially the end. Killing the sun and stopping the glow, The moon plots her jealous revenge. Venus and mars cannot intervene, you need to capitalize ...
Aug 13, 2010 -
Re: When the world finally goes silent
Aah!finally a poem with meaning, it really makes the reader feel the emotions that the writers trying to convey. one thing though: Emotion has grown cold, Passion all gone lost, ...
Aug 12, 2010 -
Re: Saviors
No this is actually my first time posting this story(or any story for that matter).yeah and I notice 'toke' :P my bad.
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: Saviors
Yeah thanks for your help! I was so stuck up on it, i didn't really take a chance to take a step back and see it from new pairs of ...
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: I want you to notice
Hey there! you wrote this poem well i think, because you used simple words to create in depth emotions. when you wrote: And if I'm not still here, When tomorrow ...
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: Daddy
I really liked this piece, and I agree with Shepherd about using "you" in a story, some people don't know how to use it right(that would be me) but you ...
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: Saviors
Hey guys! Here's my first draft of this Story. Hope you enjoy it and please help me improve my writing by commenting(i guess that's why you would be commenting anyway... ...
Aug 10, 2010 -
Re: Shipwreck Isle ch. 1
You may not agree with what i thought needed revising, but that all it is a thought. Hope i was able to help you in some way! I finally came ...
Aug 9, 2010 -
Re: Wind
You did a good job with this poem. Though one thing you might want to revise, and to help it flow better is make each line the same amount of ...
Aug 9, 2010 -
Re: My First Ever Poem (from when I was seven!)
Love it! Its so cute, and flows very well for a seven year old.If you can write that when you were seven i wonder what you can write now?! ;)
Aug 9, 2010 -
Re: Eternal Kiss
It toke me to read it two times to fully get it( guess I am just slow :P) but I really like it! I like the words you used, it ...
Aug 9, 2010 -
Re: The Looking Glass (Part one)
Hey there! Most of the things i want to touch up on have already been stated so ill just try in say it in my own words and thoughts. I ...
Aug 9, 2010
