SeptemberRain

This is ridiculous in the good kind of way! I couldn't stop laughing the whole time I was reading this! My favorite part is definitly when Steph Meyer popped up ...

I think it symbolizes Pamela's (the owner of the umbrella) personality. And also I really like polka-dots :)

I agree with OrangeNailpolish. You have a lot of dialouge in this chapter. I would like to see more of what everything looks like. Can't wait for the next chapter! ...

Thank you for pointing out some of the mistakes I made. I'm usually an avid past tense writer, and switching to present is kind of tough. Also to answer some ...

AHHHH!!! Oh thank you so much! This is more like a rough copy of chapter one so I haven't realy revised it, but thank you for spotting those mistakes. I ...

I like how you used the repetition in the poem. Also the imagry was amazing. I always look for poems that have good imagry.

I've always had trouble transitioning things. And there's a reason why Joz can play piano really good without learning. It's part of the plot though so it's pretty much a ...

Thank you! I will rewrite as soon as possible.