SazzaMulgazza

Thanks a lot! Glad you really liked it :). Yeah I really should start working on a bridge...or maybe a new song altogether!

Is this supposed to be a straightforward poem or is the closet a really obvious gay reference? Because you use lots of words and phrases that would suggest that "it's ...

I should really give my full review but if the "here is my mouth it will speak for you" is a bother what about, instead, "here are my lips, they ...

Thanks I'm glad you liked it However I respectfully disagree that the audience should have a tune in their head. My layout won't necessarily fit around a typical melody structure, ...

I find it bit cliche all round. It's not terrible it's just a bit thin. I think if something like this is going to be the entire premise for your ...

Hiya, thanks a lot actually most of what you said is spot on and I'm going to change bits and pieces. It's good to get an objective look. Also the ...

I realise I should be objective but can I just say that your standard of writing far surpasses your age! I can only imagine how amazing you will be in ...

Ok, lyrics I wrote down quickly. Don't really have a melody so I assume I would heavily edit them to fit in with a melody when that came about. Really ...

I actually rewrote that line but I must have forgot to edit. Serenity was one of the words I had put in instead. I hadn't decided however, there were a ...

Hey thanks loads for those comments :D!

Thanks! I was a little worried that the imagery of fireflies at night was a little overused but it seemed to fit in nicely. I guess I kind of thought ...

(I wrote this quite quickly so I know it needs work, anyway, general thoughts?) And now the night has fallen clear, So clear in fact dawn’s nearly here. And after ...

The Passing Day(WORKING TITLE!) And now the night has fallen clear, So clear in fact dawn’s nearly here. And after dawn the day will come, Then afternoon will soon be ...

Sorry I'm not commenting on thepoem - on a general note it's original but needs developement. I just wanted to say that boolovesyou's comment about how you shouldn't use contractions ...

Hey thanks glad you liked it. And yes that is the crux of it, I am ALWAYS reprimanding myself for not appreciating things when they are there and ALWAYS wanting/thinking ...