SapphireStars29

Everyone has already said so, but... it's sad. Elaborate on her weakness more. Describe her pain, too, like “then the pain came” doesn’t really cut it. I want to read ...

[pre] It was just after sunset and I was sitting by the pool in my pajamas. The wind was warm and gentle, it made me smile, but that smile turned ...

You put "withing her" instead of "within her," I assume. Small thing, I really liked it. My friend went through a similar situation and you really hit the nail on ...

I like your story a lot, but some of the grammar is off and you switch between past and present tense a few times, making it sound strange. Like you ...