Ryukun7

This is a very original and awesome story, as usual :D I really liked Addive and Suki's mysterious relationship, and how you built up the plot around those two. The ...

I love this story so far :D :D It's very original and unique. It really makes me wonder about Hunter, and what exactly happened to him--the plot really ties you ...

“Thank God we're almost to Oriana's place,” Cairo blurted out as we strode towards our destination. After our run-in with the person infected by GD, both of us had nearly ...

Hi Jay! :D Welcome! I have to say, you have me interested in your story now. :lol: I hope you post it soon. Have fun on here, and send me ...

Whenever I left the apartment a feeling of complete emptiness seeped into the very roots of my being, and a depression so deep rose in my consciousness that it physically ...

Terrific job with this piece!! :D I think all the little mistakes have been pointed out. I really like the repetition in this too. It works very well in sending ...

This is indeed a very nice and cute story! :) I'm a little late on the critique, since it seems everyone has caught the grammatical errors. Personally, I thought it ...

Hey, Snoink! :D Like everyone else, I think you have a good piece going on. There is really nothing grammatical wise to correct. The only "critique" I have is about ...

I love fantasy stories; especially ones that involve mysteries such as this one. I like how you started the story, and I've already become quite attached to Emma and Mrs. ...

8/10 because I like the cheesy pick-up line xD

Thanks for the helpful comments! I definitely think the suggestions will better my story. :)

Hey BigBadBear! First off, I would like to say you did an excellent job of capturing a chat room atmosphere. I actually used a chat room in one of my ...

Excellent piece. :D As a sci-fi fan, this really hooked my interest. I think all the right elements are there. I didn't really catch any errors, which means you did ...

Hey midnightwolf92! I'll just start off with a small critique. I agree that this seems somewhat like a video game or anime(which I like both, so that isn't bad), but ...

*I left the original so it could be compared to this one. I tried to slow the action down, and left details out so I could add them later. Thanks ...