Rydia

Penelope pulled out an envelope with the pictures and the dragon's note and handed it to Erik. [I think you need to alter this. She was holding the envelope up ...

Hey there! I think you've got a good, strong chapter here. You could have had more character and setting description - you mention the table cloth at one point so ...

Avoiding the big wet German Shepherd that whined for her attention, she swung open the low white picket fence and began skipping along the road, swinging a piece of string ...

Hey Andy! In general, I think this is good but for a prologue, there's too much information and not enough action to catch the reader's attention. You have some lovely ...

I like the simplicity and childish tone of this to some extent but I think it could be clearer in places. You have some god imagery, the use of the ...

This has a soothing, pretty quality to it, Jas. I really like it, it's very different to much of your poetry because while there's that sad melody mingled with the ...

This is very thought provoking dear and you have some beautiful imagery. I agree with most of what Kit has said but I thought I'd add a few comments of ...

“Well, it’s kinda hard to explain,” the newcomer said. “Umm… You were shot in the head, buddy. So, here you are.” [I don't think 'newcomer' is the best description as ...

I stumbled on my feet once and I figured we must be in the bow from its pointed shape. This also must’ve been where the crew slept because it is ...

Hello there, welcome to the site! As aestar101 says, you need to write two reviews for every piece of literary work you post on YWS so if you could review ...

I think you've chosen a good feeling/ emotion to base your poem on but it could be done in a more thought-provoking manner. I think it's good that this is ...

This is good. I love the idea of a group of circus people running a ship but I think you need to consider the realness of the situation and be ...

A few suggestions first - Axel and Hank were behind a nearby rock watching the events unfold. “After seeing him in action like this I’m really glad Tex is on ...

Some small suggestions first - Especially George was genius, although she'd never admit it. [This is worded awkwardly. Maybe 'George was especially genius, although...'] Lucy couldn't help but making

This flowed really well and it develops the persona's character further but I think you need to work on description and I think you need to build up the tension ...