Rydia

Just a quick critique on this one I think. Let me see.... The first thing I noticed is that 'morn' should be mourn is you mean to mourn someone's passing. ...

Okay, I got some spare time on my hands so I shall go through it and outline the typos and spelling mistakes as well as a few possible changes.... Oh ...

The first thing I'd like to point out is a slight lack of punctuation. I know I'm forever nagging people about this but I really do think a poetry needs ...

I would agree with that criticism except that it's the style of the poem I was experimenting with. The format is - 4 syllables 8 syllables repeat line 1 8 ...

Through Jealous Eyes Through tinted glass I watch this wretched world go round, Through tinted glass I watch the wondrous people pass - A kaleidoscope to astound But colours lie, ...

My first impression of this poem is that I like it. It has something of a pessimistic tone and for a long time I went through that phase, I'm not ...

The first thing I'd like to see you do with this poem is to add some capital letters. I think a poem looks much more professional and much neater if ...

Just a few points to add to that rather thorough critique. I think that, seenas you don't appear to have a rhythm, you might as well use 'instead' rather than ...

I'd say fantasy is my favourite genre though I tend to read quite a variety

*Removed* We have our agent =)

Okay, overall I got a very varied impression for this poem but the message is good and parts are very well written. In the first verse, I agree that nought ...

Sometimes a lack of punctuation can be effective but, as I often say, it's best in small doses so use a little more. Also, you could expand this piece. It's ...

I don't think the opening of the first is very strong and there's a typo. The eighth line should be 'you're' rather than 'your' Hmmm. Other than that the ideas ...

I can't believe there's another site with storybooks! I might just bring some of my friends at TYWC across and yes, the site still lives on and shall as long ...

I don't usually see what's so effective about Haikus but you managed to say a lot in just a few lines so well done you! The language is rather simple ...