Rydia

Not too late to join for certain and I get the feeling that any species goes... Maybe check with Elven first to be sure. River I stuffed my bag of ...

I think Snoink covered this pretty well but I'd like to add that you switch tense and perspective a lot. That's fine if you have a reason for it but ...

It's short, quite simple but well written. The half rhymes of 'ground' and 'clouds' don't work and that third line isn't very strong anyway so you might want to change ...

The rhymes are forced in places and the rhythm is off. Maybe you should keep the idea but try to re-write this in a sonnet format. I mean the lines ...

All of them are really good. You should be a computer games designer!

I'll agree that parts were repetitive and I think this would look better if you split it into stanzas. That would also help you structure your ideas. Like Claudette says, ...

It wasn't too obvious that it was from the point of view of a kitten. In fact, if you hadn't have said I wouldn't have known. Other than that though, ...

This piece is full of raw emotion and I found it really easy to relate to what you was feeling because you described it so well. I do have a ...

I didn't need one, I was merely curious as to why you hadn't posted one... It's nice to have one though :) River The moonlight filtered through the dusty atmosphere ...

I like it. The rhythm is fantastc, your vocabulary is good and your imagery is beautiful. I'm not so sure about the rhyming though. In some places it's brilliant and ...

Just a few typos to point out first... Dark-eyed aureate love descends From austere clouds I've never known, Weaving a framework of crackling flames Till my eyes flash and hiss ...

No character bio for Caden? Name= River. Age= 21. Race= Elf. Hair= Dark blue, so dark that it passes for black on a moonless night. Eyes= A medium blue with ...

3. To start writing, pick subjects that you really feel deep in your heart... Number three isn't true for me. Sometimes I have so many thoughts and ideas in my ...

Okay, I'll post the bio then. Name= Heather Marie Warren. Nickname= Heath or Kitty or Kit. Age= 17. Hair= Just past shoulders, brown with a touch of red, thick. Eyes= ...

Okay, thanks. I suppose I'll read a little of the original and then see what sort of character would fit in with the others. *Edit* Hello again. I think I'm ...