Rydia

1. The detail here is exquisite and the colours are vibrant and pretty. 2. This one is nice but it's a bit 'wishy washy' and there isn't enough contrast. 3. ...

Oh wow, she's beautiful. The colouring on the dress is perfect, the hair looks just right and the jewelery really sets off the outfit. This has a real touch of ...

I love the red bubbles in this second one and the keyhole at the bottom is really pretty, sort of celestial. I'm not as fond of the key, I think ...

Lilly "I don't know, but he's learnt to levitate," I replied worriedly. "But that's not the same as flying. Maybe he can't fly?" Tera suggests hopefully. "We have to stop ...

I think it's a traditional storybook where you use one character and each write a small part of the story from (in this case his) point of view...

"Don't be so awkward Alice. You need someone to talk to and here I am," Scipio replies patiently. "I don't want to talk about it and I barely know you. ...

Falcon "Ara is searching for you. We split up," The woman replied, purposefully ignoring me as I studied her features. She appeared to be about twenty one but I knew ...

This part was very well written and you shouldn't worry so much. It doesn't move too quickly, more detail would be nice but isn't necessary, you could make the chapter ...

I don't agree with many of these. In fact, I think I only agree with two or three but it's quite amusing to read.

I'm not sure that the lolly in the mouth looks so good but the quote is nice and the shading is well done.

This is very well written with quite a nice pace and I look forward to reading more. Perhaps work a little on using unique imagery and finding another way to ...

I think her head, neck and shoulders get rather thin and the head needs enlarging in other dimensions too but the outfit is brilliant and I love the expression. Keep ...

Oh yes, this one is better. A few points - “Yes,” he said after a while, sounding as much a sigh as an agreement. The youth nodded briefly before leaving ...

A few specific points first - cupping his large hand around the rip [I think you mean rim?] as the general folded his arms across his chest and pressed two ...

Falcon "There isn't much more to tell," The man replied, "There are two other assassins working with me, the fortress is very well guarded and there may be an element ...