Rydia

Oooh. I love this chapter. The Night Cat's sound great. They should join the war! Lol. Just a few specific points first - Valery said reluctantly, as if not wanting ...

Lilly "Arias," I whispered sadly, warm tears trickling down my face. "Is he really gone?" Alexynia asked. "Yes. And your mission is complete so feel free to leave any time," ...

The latest one is pretty girl. It's nice to see the girl in a more casual outfit. It really suits her. The guy is good in that one too but ...

I loved this piece. very imaginative and your characters... uh... hangers have such great characterization. I must say I never talked to hangers as I child but I played my ...

Kevin "How 'bout you Siren?" I asked. "Just a little trouble with my brother," She murmured. "Ah. Him." I tried not to sound hateful but at least a little of ...

I think the second is much better. Like you say, it's more poetic and easier to read. Your vocabulary is wide and you have some strong, dramatic sentences in this ...

The first is my favourite I think. The angle is really nice but the last is great too. You caught the rabbit at the perfect moment and the flowers are ...

For a first draft it's pretty good but the final is certainly much better. You made some nice improvements and it's interesting to see how you advanced this image.

Okay and Kevin had actually gone home but that's okay. I'll have him head back to the bar... Kevin I picked the phone up to hear my mother's voice down ...

Okay, let me see... Name= Celeste Age= 24 Race= Healer Allegiance= Good. Powers= Defensive spells. She can cast invisibility and shield spells. Some minor levitation spells but her main skill ...

He looks pretty cool but his hands are different sizes and I'd like to be able to see his face. Also, the shading could be better, a bit more gradual ...

I love the guy. I wish I could see more of his face but the outfit is really cool. Why not do a coloured version of him too? I bet ...

Lilly "What the hell just happened?" Alexynia exclaimed. "I think your friends just double crossed us," Kate sighed. "But why. This makes no sense," Mused Tera. "There's one way we ...

I liked this. Some very interesting characters and a nice touch of fantasy. I love the description of K'ratcha's eyes. Very well done. Just a few specific points - Somehow ...

A few specific points to make first - She looked gorgeous, she had waited for this dance for the past three years. [I think this would be better if you ...