Rydia

Julia I stuggled against Sonya's hold and then calmed when I saw that Warren was breathing more easily. "Sorry. I should have trusted you," I apologised. "That's okay," Luna replied. ...

Claudette's right. You need to punctuate this and then re-consider the rhymes. Rhyme and rhythm are great when they come naturally and add to the poem but here it seems ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS, Mel. If you're looking for a critique or need help navigating around the site, feel free to pm me. I'm always happy to help ...

I think the first one is really good but I have to agree that the blush should be paler and blended a touch more. Also, I'd love to see what ...

This is really well drawn. A little more shading or some colour would be nice but that is one cool outfit and the detail on the wings is great. I ...

Melody I felt the man's presence fade away and for a moment I wanted to lash out and demand that he remove the power that had manifested within my body. ...

Hello again Phorcys. First, I'd like to congratulate you on another brilliant chapter. I love how you described the cabbie and the other members of Maver's group. You already have ...

I like the switches of perspective you have but I think you need to characterize more. Fin and Nox both seem to be rather similar in that they're both outcasts ...

This part was good and I'm glad you described the girl but it would be nice to know a little more about the room they're in too. Also, he can ...

This part was good and the new characters were nice but I agree that it wasn't the best. Some physical description of the girl would have been nice, rather than ...

I got - 'Bartemius says, When all think alike, no one is thinking very much. - Walter Lippmann (1889-1974)' Very true =)

Oh, I remember this thread. I have a thousand posts too now =) I'm not sure what my thousandth was though. Probably a storybook entry or something. Next, I want ...

The storybook section on there is still alive. Me and a few friends have kept it so for many years now and TYWC will always hold a special place in ...

Oooh. Thanks for the kudos bar. Lol. Welcome to YWS, Gretta and if you need any help navigating the site or would like a critique, feel free to pm me. ...

Add a little colour to the first or darken your lines so that it's clearer but other than that, it's really cool. I think Jack needs a more interesting posture. ...