Rydia

Some of the imagery in this poem was beautiful and I love the message behind it. Line four is out of rhythm though. It needs an extra syllable so that ...

Kevin I sat down at the river bank and gazed out at the calm, blue water. Just last year I had hated how peaceful and serene this place felt but ...

Okay, you don't know girls too well do you? What sort of girl wears a top that's way too small with what appear to be rather baggy trousers. If you're ...

Wow. That is so strange! I love how the figure in the first looks as if she's trapped in the photo. It makes me think of the goosebumps books - ...

I liked the introduction of magic. I think it adds nicely to the story but poor Annie! Here's a few things I noticed - "Hello, there, Brad. Nice to see ...

"Got to find a decent weapon," Scipio mused as he sorted through all the spares. He tossed aside a mace, ran a hand across a crossbow and then settled on ...

Ah but storybooks are sort of different. I know it doesn't make sense but we writers are a picky type, yes? It's your storybook though so stick to your plot ...

The two oil pastels have such great use of colour! And the doodles are fun to look at. The one I really like though is the last. That is one ...

Kate "Your mother?" I asked. "Put her in Gryffindor," Natalie explained. "But now she's in Azkaban." "Oh," I shuffled uncomfortably, not sure what to say. "Don't worry. Let them stare ...

Ah, I see Jabber got your punctuation. Then I shall take rhyme and rhythm =) I think this would be better if you tried for a consistent rhythm throughout the ...

Olivia "Yeah. You can help us catch something," I agreed happily and yet, this seemed to terrify her even more. Then I realised that she must be scared of werewolves. ...

Oh dear. Poor ULTRA and INFRA don't seem to be having much luck. Your action in this section was really good but perhaps the demons defeated TEMPO too easily? Afterall, ...

Celeste "Okay, let's go," The Hunter decided, striding from the room with Zora. "Wait," I called out. "I want to help." The two turned and stared at me in surprise. ...

Julia "I'll help," I whispered back and then looked up at the Gryphon again. "My friend wants to know what you like to eat. Only we're stopping for lunch soon ...

Kate I clutched my books to my chest as I hurried away from Jesse and out into the grounds. Feeling a little foolish, I slowed to a walk and headed ...