Rydia

Ah but there is. Create posters and ask if you can place them around your school or college or at the local community centre. And you'd be surprised at how ...

That's not only strange but cruel. I hope they took all his animals away from him.

In general, this is a bit of an info dump, even for a prologue and it's also very short so why not split some of that information up with description ...

You make some good points but how the death is portrayed is not necessarily the most important factor. The setting and dialogue before the death can lead to the surprise ...

Some very good tips here, especially those on which words rhyme and which don't. I attempted some rather ridiculous combinations when I first started writing poetry.

Hmmm. I think you have quite a good flow here and the lyrics are nice if a bit strange but you seriously need to add some punctuation and shorten a ...

I get the feeling that you haven't quite finished this but what you have so far is nice. Maybe tidy it up a little - (Lucky) "Charlie . Why did ...

You have some nice imagery, a good theme and a lovely style of writing but some of the lines need a bit of work. Here's a few suggestions - There ...

Okay, this is rather short so my first piece of advice is to extend it and my second is to add grammar. Lots and lots of grammar. Here's a quick ...

It's certainly rather unique but I think it could be imrpoved. You repeat bird too much and that's rather vague so maybe mention what sort of bird it is. Perhaps ...

Oh wow, the twin snout cannon is beyond awesome! I love the colour, the texture and of course the shape. That's such a cool ship! Snoink will be delighted.

Amelia "Like what?" I called after Quinn. "Like stealin'," He responded with a roll of his cyan blue eyes. He turned and began to stride away, holding his head high ...

I like him for his acting ability and his wit just as much as I like him for his good looks if not more. There are better looking actors than ...

Dahlia I'm not quite sure why I followed Kenran back towards his camp. Perhaps because he'd seemed worried and preoccupied or maybe it was just one of those fortunate moments ...

This is getting really action packed and I love your styles of writing. Keep up the good work!