Rydia

The dip in June or July makes sense what with us being teenagers and having most of our exams then. But yeah, go YWS!

Hmmm. I have to agree that the coughing up blood was over used but other than that, the plot was reasonable and I like Knall's new wings. That part was ...

Hmm. This is confusing seenas I'm not aquainted with 'MS Unity' but even a fan-fiction should be able to stand alone. You need to explain things better and in more ...

Hmmm. You have lots of dialogue here which is okay but add some more description of setting and characters so the reader can visualise your story. Also, you need to ...

You worry too much, my friend. I didn't fin the chapter particularly confusing and the soldiers were portrayed very well. I did find a few typos and I think I'd ...

Am I allowed a shapeshifter? Or is that too out there... Yay! Here's the bio... Name= Arianna. Age= 16. Race= Shapeshifter. She can transform into a small, black kitten or ...

Luke Our fighting practice was interrupted by the sea assassins. "Did you want anything in particular?" I asked after they had spent at least half an hour watching us. "To ...

Julia I giggled as a crimson blush streaked across Warren's face and he seemed even more reluctant to climb upon Luna's back but in the end he sighed and climbed ...

Heather's eyelids slowly fluttered open and she sat up, rubbing her head to find Rick standing over her. "You okay?" He asked. "Yeah," She murmured. "But what happened?" "That I ...

Kate "Be careful," I warned in a hushed voice. "He doesn't need that wand for magic." "Shouldn't we get a teacher?" Calder asked. "How about Hagrid?" Alice suggested as Sara ...

Eleanor Fawkes "Where is Peters?" The Fencing instructor demanded after he had taken the register. We all remained silent even though I knew as well as the others that he ...

Kalilah I cut the captain free and he immediately lunged forward, attempting to grab the cutlass. I ducked out of the way and we soon had him surrounded, the swords ...

Raven I gathered a few items, piled them into a rucksack and slung it over my back before heading towards the main gate. I walked quickly and was not surprised ...

This sounds interesting though currently I have an image of a granny beating someone up with her handbag. Hehe. I shall certainly keep it in mind though next time I ...

It's nice to meet you Fabien. You strike me as a very deep sort of person and you're right, there is a lot of beauty in this world. My name's ...