Rydia

This section is realy good! It flows well, your description is beautiful and there's some great character development. I think the relationship between Phil and Elyan is developing too fast ...

Annie "There's no pulse," The dark haired girl sighed, standing back up, her trousers now dabbled with blood. "Well there's nothing we can do," Luke decided, "other than carry them ...

This is really good. The objects are well placed, the black and white is very effective and it's a really interesting, intriguing photo. The white line in the background on ...

Scribe - Thanks for the help! You're right about the second part and I've already started extending and cutting but it's going to be a few more days before I ...

Raven After the fight, we spared a few moments to recuperate and ate a hurried meal before setting off again through the trees. The plants began to grow sparse as ...

I'm glad you liked it Jasmine since it's practically yours. And gosh do I feel guilty. Somehow you find time to read nearly everything I've written and I still haven't ...

Hey there! Sorry it took so long, I've had a rather hectic day... But anyway, on to the critique. I think you have a good start here but there is ...

Hmm. I think the opening is rather strange and to be honest it's a little unecessary. I mean, smaller and stranger creatures than faeries swim in the sea in real ...

jynxy - Thanks very much, I'm so glad you liked it! Scribe - Thank you! You're right, the grammar needs tidying up in places and some of the imagery could ...

Well, Jyra and Skylar talked a bit first and then Max sort of fell out of the sky and they helped him. At this point, Arianna, Lucy and Kristina were ...

Well not much has happened so far. The characters are starting to get to know each other a little and the only major plot change is that all they've all ...

Caleb The man dragged me towards the door and I dug my feet in while raking my brain for some phrase, some small phrase that might change my mind. A ...

Arianna I watched Lucy stride down towards the parking lot and made an instinctive decision to go with her. Racing down the hill, I soon caught up and fell into ...

Arianna It felt as though Lucy had cut a hole in my brain and was dealving inside me, slipping her fingers into all the cracks and abysses that my head ...

Caleb I had been expecting the attack but it still hurt and I found myself on the ground and then dragged to my feet and held firmly by the arm. ...