Rydia

Amelia While the boy was musing over my words, obviously having difficulty with the concept of a pirate looking after others, I talked to a few of the people at ...

Posting in red? I don't see any red posts... And this is a storybook about the YWS Highwind and her crew and their adventures through space. "Okay but I still ...

Banned for having my MSN.

Julia I watched the small hummingbird zoom through the cracks in the stone work. She reached the bottom first, shifting back to human form but I soon landed beside her, ...

(No problem Rieda and if this doesn't make sense, you need to read the discussion thread.) 2:32 pm Katalyn Katalyn and Louis slowed to a halt, observing the guns and ...

"Me too actually. Come on, let's find a shop." "And how do we explain these outfits? And how do we pay?" Alice demanded. "Good points. Okay then, we'll have to ...

I don't think people do enough to protect the enviroment but then, there's so much more that I could be doing that I dont. People who go out of their ...

Hey there all! This is sort of an activity but seenas it doesn't really involve writing, I decided to post it here and a helpful mod can move it if ...

Not the best chapter so far but the dialogue is pretty good and you have some nice descriptions. Maybe expand them a little more so that the reader gets a ...

Again, some nice description if a touch repetitive in places and Knall's advancing well. You have some very imaginative plot lines and this was generally well written. Some suggestions - ...

Congratulations Suzie! And achieved in record timing I believe =)

This part was really good with some nice descriptions, some good dialogue and a really interesting plot. My main suggestion is to expand that final fight scene. I think it ...

Julia I shivered involuntarily as I followed Tyrin into the dark, foreboding abyss. As we descended along the steps, the atmosphere grew humid and a drop of sweat trickled from ...

Kate "Would you care to dance?" Jesse asked as we entered the great hall. I nodded nervously and placed one hand within his and wrapped the other around his body. ...

You have a great rhythm here and the rhyme is effective but you need to fix the punctuation. You need to add full stops, put the commas in the right ...