Rydia

Congratulations Gadi, a well deserved win!

Smorg - I think those are of a reasonable length so I'll award you 125 plus the bonus 50 and you may choose which piece of work you'd like critiqued. ...

Raven is sort of out of commission for a moment so I can't post...

I'm with Sureal on this one. Personally, I'd never try their service and there are better ways to save a marriage but sometimes it takes an affair for someone to ...

I like the hair much better in this version but... you're using oil pastels right? If so, smudge the colouring on the face so that it blends better and gives ...

I called in!

Also listening =)

That would be brilliant but we all know Necropolis would win =)

This one shall have to be brief but in general, I like the change in Khor and here's your corrections - At first [s]feeling[/s] Khor felt panic that eventually subsided ...

I'm not sure, I always use towards but I think it's down to personal choice.

A nice calm instalment to space out the action. Good idea. A few suggestions - I believe they are [s]going[/s] heading for the Selsean Mountains.” He stared out once more ...

Hello again! A good section. I like the slightly awkward conversation about Rakara and the part with the lamp was good. Very little to fault this time, though you could ...

Very good though you do have to make sure the romance doesn't move too fast and don't let it consume your story but try not to lose it either. Lol. ...

An excellent section. A good range of emotions in this piece, some interesting action and a nice new character. Good dialogue, nice description and just a few typos and such ...

Kate I climbed into my bed and snuggled deep under the covers, allowing my eyelids to droop, my head filled with happy thoughts of dancing with Jesse. I don't know ...