Runawaythoughts

Yeah I agree it'll make a great book I just want to know more. Did the stars seriously vanish or was it all in the guys head. I love this ...

Night had fallen, and the rebellion had formed their strategy. Get in, get Ada, get out-- as simple as that. There were a few obstacles that took some time getting ...

SPACES PEOPLE SPACES!!! ouch... ok could of things. You need to CAPITALIZE the first Letter of every sentence. That really bugged me secondly. (I'm not but i know a few) ...

I thought it was really interesting. Hovever the whole boy sells soul to the devil for a loved one, has been used to many times. I liked how you wrote ...

OK guys I made some chnages please read and review again. And read the other 3 i have out now. Thanks!

Cameron and Gideon walked out into the long hallway. "Each of these rooms are home to at least one person in the rebellion. We empty their houses and place them ...

HAHA i find this hilarious. I don't agree with it all but i find it quite funny. Why would you want to post it on young writers society? I have ...

I'm soo sorry everyone. Most people were right i wasn't trying to be rude. I'm just a very harsh critquer and unlike yours, most diaries posted on here most are ...

I like your idea, and this is written well. Except you changed tenses. Other than that I think you have something really good started. Good luck! I agree completely with ...

Many hours later Gideon awoke in a cold sweat. The room was cold, the digital fire nothing more than hot coals by now. A cold wind blew through the house, ...

Back!!! I lay on my bed, this is in present tense...... choose the point of view as i have already stressed The guards beat me daily. Pain shot up my ...

1rst off you need to work on voice. You need to choose a time period, or create one, and make your characters thoughts reflect that. 2nd, Details Darling! You have ...

I like it short and sweet Too bad King Arthur is in Jail according to the end seeing how the producers drunk away all of their money so to end ...

Sorry couldn't finish reading i have to get to bed. Few things. Mom is scared shit of M. When we were at red light M flicked a book at Mom. ...

Gideon walked into the sanitary hospital, his shoes tapping on the bacteria free plastic tiles, leaving mud splotches on the floor. A janitor bot, hummed alive out of the corner ...